Friday, April 15, 2016

What would last year me think of this year me?

Today I was walking in the hall with Olivia when she asked me a question: What would your last year self think of your this year self? And that raised some questions.
Would I be proud of myself? Ashamed? Overjoyed? Upset? Confused? In an attempt to clean my thoughts, I've decided to compare us. (I'm sorry this is going to become another check in post I'm really conceited and love talking about myself)
In some ways I think I'd be really proud of myself. I've figured a lot of stuff out that I just couldn't seem to understand or get quite right. Sure I've figured out how to find slope and systems of equations (honestly what was my problem with those last year?) but I've also figured out a lot about myself. I'd also be super proud of the way I dress. Last year me dreamed of being the cool girl with the pixie cut who wore band tee shirts and flannels. I think I'd love who I'm becoming; for one, I'm starting to do theatre and show choir, two things I've wanted to do since I was little. I've gone to concerts, met new people, made new friends, developed relationships,  fallen in love -- all things I would have dreamed of last year. 
But on the other hand, I've stopped talking to old friends, ended relationships, let my mental health decline, and stopped writing almost entirely. It's not that I don't want to quit these things -- I love writing and I love my friends, it's that I'm finding my priorities lying in much different places.  There's nothing wrong with the fact I place talking to my friends and boyfriend higher than writing, or the fact I prefer Netflix to putting the effort into skyping old friends, it's just a difference in priorities from last year. If you had told last year's me that she would skip talking to a certain person to watch New Girl on Netflix she would probably glare at you and say you're a bad person (and I've come to terms with that.) If you had told her that she'd stop writing Selected, move on to another (much cooler) story and then stop writing nearly entirely she'd be very upset. If you told her she'd abandon her blog for weeks on end she'd probably believe you tbh we do have the same blogging habits. 
This year has had so many ups and downs already and I know there's a billion more to come. I'm really proud of myself for over coming what I have (even if I am a bit bitter -- okay very bitter -- about a few topics). 

that's all for right now, 
Hugs and Virtual Cookies,
Katniss Stone

An Update In The Life of Katniss Stone

You may have noticed I haven't posted in over a month. I'm not even going to apologize for it because that is probably the third time I've left the blog for more than two weeks this year and it's becoming a rather awful habit. Now, I have an original post that I will post right after this one, but it's yet another month which means yet another checkin. Except I'm getting bored with the same layout and I'm sure you are too judging by the fact it's kind of the only thing I've actually posted this year. So here's whats happening in the life of Katniss Stone;
  • I went to a Panic! At the Disco concert !!! It was AMAZING! I'll probably make a post about it fairly soon, I just need to transfer the picture off of my phone. 
  • I have a boyfriend. (I honestly don't know how) 
  • I'm probably going to do another musical! 
  • Hamilton is becoming my entire life
Now for goals and stuff because that's the point of the check in

in the lil goals I've:
let the fosters ruin my life again (this season is gettin real crazy real fast)
and concerts (the panic! one that has been already mentioned)

also in news of lil goals:
I've stopped watching Shadowhunters. I might start again I don't know. I've also stopped watching the 100 because Lexa was killed off and honestly I don't know what this trend of killing off lgbt+ characters is this year, but it needs to stop right now. 

and now the big goals:
declutter: I cleaned my room in March and it was nice but it's a mess again oops but my locker is actually pretty clean so there's a start
procrastinating: hahahahahahahahaha
creativity: I've been focusing my creative outlets on things other than writing, but hey -- it's still creativity.
mental health; March was actually a really good month mental health wise and April's looking pretty swell too (watch I just jinxed myself) 

Alright I'm gonna write the creative post now (which in the end will completely turn out to be another checkin I'm sure of it) and then maybe the panic post we'll see. 

Hugs and Virtual Cookies,
Katniss Stone